


Peonies Mean Healing (and perhaps I am one)

by Catfeyrac



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BB-8 is a child, Barista Rey, Florist Finn, M/M, Muteness, Paralysis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5680402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catfeyrac/pseuds/Catfeyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn is a simple florist, burdened by a paralyzed leg due to a bullet injury. Before Rey came into his life, he had no one to take care of him.</p><p>But when someone, or two someones, come into his life, he finds that maybe he needs more healed than his body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Geranium (Comfort)

**Author's Note:**

> For reference, BB-8 is a mute child named Bibi. Also I apologize in advance if the way I write her sign language makes anyone uncomfortable, I don't know sign language and I'm making due with what I can do with research, which is that people who use sign language speak with individual words instead of sentences, I am not trying to offend anyone and would welcome suggestions of how to better her "speech" style

_Looking at him, you wouldn’t think he used to be in the army._

He always looked the calmest when he was tending to his flowers, preening each leaf and petal so they would be absolutely perfect, an intense yet serene expression on his face. Rey never understood the appeal of it, flowers were pretty whether or not they were perfect. But it helped him, so she never questioned it.

Munching on her bagel, she watched him cut off the last wilting leaf off of a tulip while she idly twirled a pencil between her fingers. He bent up slowly, hand on his back, his eyes closed as he tried not to wince. She felt bad for him; he had been injured by a bullet, making it so he was in constant pain. He had told her that he spent months in the hospital, and for a while, they weren’t sure if he would survive it. He’d almost been paralyzed for life by it, but by his luck, he was alive and still able to walk. He had to wear a leg brace and usually walked with a cane, but he never complained about it. Rey figured he felt he was just lucky to be alive that he’d take the one paralyzed leg.

“There we go, perfect,” Finn sighed when he opened his eyes again.  
“Now will you come eat your damn bagel, I spent $3 on it.” Rey grumbled as she set down the pencil, even though there was a trace of a smile on her face.

“No need to be rude,” Finn laughed as he grabbed his cane and hobbled over.

Rey rolled her eyes, taking a swig of her lukewarm coffee.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate their lunch. It was a daily routine for her: wake up, shower, get dressed, go to work (which was the coffee shop next door), try to be polite to the guys that tried to hit on her, actually be polite to the nice people, take her lunch break by bringing Finn food and sitting with him in his shop, go back to work, walk home with Finn. She was glad she met the guy, and she seemed to be the only person in his life as well, so she was extra glad that she got to be a part of his life.

The open door brought something other than a breeze, breaking her train of thought. She put her cup down, listening harder. It sounded like someone was… crying? Rey stood up and walked to the door, peeking her head outside.

On the sidewalk sat a little redheaded girl, who was clutching her knees and crying into them. Rey stepped over to her, kneeling beside her.

“Are you okay? Are you lost?”

The little girl looked up at her, tears in her eyes as she nodded.

“Where’d you lose your mom? Or dad?” Rey inquired.

The girl raised her hands and signed [Dad] then [Street.]

Rey furrowed her brow, knowing it would be hard to find a single man in the busy streets, especially since it was lunch hour.

“Do you want to see some flowers? You’ll be safe in here while you wait for him.” Rey offered.

The girl’s eyes lit up as she nodded again.

“What’s your name?”

[B... B.]

“Bibi?”

Another nod.

“Okay, Bibi, I’m Rey.” She signed ‘R- E- Y’ for her. “Do you want a cookie?” Rey offered as she helped the girl up and walked her inside.

Bibi made a happy noise that Rey took as a yes. She’d been looking forward to eating that cookie, but this girl obviously needed it more than her.

Finn looked up at her when she walked back in.

“Why’d you- oh… Hello, little one.” He said in confusion.

She waved shyly from behind Rey.

“This is Bibi, she’s lost. Bibi, this is my friend Finn. He takes care of the flowers.”

[Hello… Flower… Man.]

Finn looked blankly at her before awkwardly saying, “I don’t understand, I don’t speak- uh, know, sign language.”

“She said ‘hello, flower man!’” Rey translated.

“Oh. Well, hello again.” He said sheepishly.

Rey offered Bibi her seat, giving her the cookie.

[Thank… You.]

“No problem, sweetie.”

[Dad.]

“What is she saying?” Finn asked curiously.

“That means ‘dad.’ What does he look like?”

[Small… Spanish… kind. Name… P… O… E.] Bibi signed thoughtfully before picking the cookie back up.

“Alright… Finn, you watch her, and I’ll go see if I can find him.”

Before Finn could say anything, Rey had run back out the door. He looked back at the little girl, who was staring at the flowers.

[Pretty.]

Finn shook his head, “Sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Bibi looked confused for a moment before pointing at the flower then at herself, making a big smile.

“Oh, you like the flowers?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Do you want one?” he offered.

She started bouncing in her seat, making joyous sounds.

He smiled, pushing himself off of his chair with his cane, hobbling back over to the flowers she was looking at, and cut the best one of the bunch. She pointed to her hair with a questioning look on her face, and he obliged, weaving into a little braid. She grinned at him as he sat back down.

She pointed to the cane.

“I was in the army.” He started to explain.

[Dad.]

“Your dad was too?”

Bibi swooshed her hand in the air, attempting to make an airplane noise.

“He was in the Air Force?”

Bibi nodded.

“A pilot. Wow… I don’t think I could get in one of those small airplanes, even before this,” he gestured at his leg. “I got hurt, and now I have to use this to walk.”

Bibi nodded seriously before going back to her cookie. Finn slid a pencil over to her, leaning over his chair to grab a sheet of paper off of his counter, sliding that along as well.

“I don’t have terribly much to do around here, but you can draw something while Rey finds your dad.” Finn suggested.

She nodded happily, wiping crumbs off of the table and picking up the pencil. Finn sighed as she started drawing lines, hoping Rey would come back soon with Bibi’s dad.


	2. Pink Carnation (Gratitude)

Poe had been scared before. He’d been scared when his mother was dying of cancer. He’d been scared when he’d gone off to the Air Force, and when he went on his first mission. He’d been scared when he had to tell his girlfriend that he’d realized he actually liked men… after they had spent a night together. He’d been scared when she called him to tell him that she was pregnant, because he didn’t know if he was ready to be a father, and he didn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman he didn’t really love in that way for that sole reason. He was scared when she decided she didn’t want to raise the child, and dumped her onto him.

But nothing could compare to the fear he was currently experiencing.

She had been beside him just minutes before, happily tagging along as he went into town for his day off of work. The rational part of his brain realized that she had most likely stopped to look at something in a store window without him realizing, but the paternal side was screaming that someone had kidnapped her, that she was afraid, that she was hurt. Plus, not everyone knew sign language, it would make it difficult for her to find help.

“Bibi! Bibi, where are you?!” he shouted, hoping and praying to see her orange hair in the crowd.

“Has anyone seen a little girl, she’s seven, she has orange hair and she’s wearing a white dress and- and a jacket,” he yelled to everyone passing.

“Poe?!” a female voice, but not Bibi’s, yelled from the crowd.

He scanned the passing people for the voice, seeing a young dark-haired woman forcing her way through the people.

“Poe, is that you? I found Bibi, I was trying to find you.” She huffed, trying to catch her breath.

“Oh thank god,” Poe sighed, a huge wave of relief flooding over him.

“I left her in the flower shop with my friend watching her, come on,” she said, turning around and jogging back.

Poe sprinted after her, his heart pounding out of his chest.

When they reached the flower shop, he ran inside, and upon spotting his daughter sitting at the table with a man, burst into tears. She yelled happily and ran to him. He dropped to his knees and squeezed her tightly, breathing heavily.

“Bibiana Dameron, don’t ever do that to me again.” He held her out with his arms on her shoulders so that she was looking at him. “I almost had a heart attack, I thought I lost you.”

Bibi looked down at the ground. [Sorry... Saw... Pretty... Flower.] She paused. [You... Gone. I... Look... Cry.] She pointed to the girl, [Help... Find.]

Poe hugged her again, then looked up at the woman. “Thank you so much, I honestly don’t know what I would have done.”

“It was no problem, I got to help a couple people, plus I got out of an hour of work. I’m Rey. This is Finn, he owns this shop.” She explained.

“Thank you too, Finn, for watching her.” Poe said, smiling at the man, who he looked up at for the first time.

“It was my pleasure, she’s a sweet girl, and she was very patient in helping me understand her.” Finn said with a smile, a soft expression on his face as he looked at her.

[Flower... Man... Nice.] Bibi signed with a little smile.

“Oh crap, my manager is about to come outside, I’d better get back to work. See you later, Finn. Bye, Bibi. Bye, Poe!” Rey said as she ran out the door.

Poe turned back around to look back at Finn. Now that he really looked at him, he realized that he was very… Poe couldn’t find any other word than cute. His eyes were soft, and he had a face that Poe felt could be instantly trusted. He supposed that it would be a natural aura for a florist. Realizing that he’d been staring at him for a moment, he blinked and stood back up, clearing his throat.

“Thank you again, and if there’s anything I can do to repay you and Rey-” Poe started.

Finn interrupted him, “No, it was no problem. We’re just glad we could find you.”

Poe felt like he could talk about as much as Bibi in that moment. His eyes wandered down for a moment, and he noticed the cane propped next to Finn on the table. He wondered for a moment why he needed it, but decided not to ask in case it was too personal or too long of a story. Besides, he should probably get Bibi home after such an experience.

“Well… it was nice meeting you, Finn.” Poe said after a moment, putting his hand on Bibi’s shoulder.

“You as well. You and Bibi are welcome to come by any time, I would be glad of the company.” Finn offered.

Poe smiled and nodded at him as he walked out with Bibi, his hand not leaving her shoulder. He knew she didn’t like it as much when he held her hand since it limited what she could communicate, but he didn’t want to lose her again. 

* * *

 They went back to their apartment and spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch, watching Disney movies. After he made dinner and they’d eaten it while watching the end of the Little Mermaid (her favorite, since Ariel was also a redhead who couldn’t speak), he took her to her room to read her a story and say goodnight.

“And they lived happily ever after, the end.” Poe closed the book and set it down. “Good night, mija,” he said as he kissed her forehead.

[Dad,] Bibi signed to get his attention.

“Yes, mi querida?”

[Flower... Man... Sad. No... Friends... But... R... E... Y. I... Think... We... Should... Visit... Him. We... Can... Be... Friends.] She signed thoughtfully.

Poe smiled at her, a bit of surprise at her seriousness. He supposed that it was why Finn was so keen for them to come back to visit. And he would like to know more about Finn, how he ended up a florist with a cane at, what, 25?

“Sure, if he’s open on Sundays, then we can drop by. If you’re good, I’ll let you pick out some flowers to take home,” he said teasingly, nuzzling her nose.

She smiled and signed [Not... Get... Lost.]

“Good. Good night, sweetie.”

He made sure the nightlight was on before turning off the light and closing the door behind him. Sighing, he decided he might as well turn in for the night, his thoughts buzzing around a certain florist.


	3. Lisianthus (Calming)

Finn had two customers stop in and buy flowers after Poe and Bibi left his shop. He was used to only a few customers a day. The woman who had owned it before him, Mary Phasma, was great at pulling in customers. He’d worked for her before his time in the army, and after he was discharged, she had given him his old job back.   
A few months later, she announced that she was retiring and she was going to move somewhere warmer. The cliché of retiring and moving to Florida didn’t seem to matter to her, and she left the shop in his charge. So now Finn was in charge of pulling in customers, but he couldn’t stand outside to greet people and welcome them in, nor did he have the income to pay someone to do it for him. It was less of a job since he got a disability check and veteran discounts. He didn’t have to worry much about the salary.   
Besides, after his injury, it was more about the calm. The terrors of nighttime and the flashbacks of death and destruction seemed far away when he was in his shop.   
As a child, he would often spend his time out in the gardens of the orphanage. His caretaker, Mr. Hux, had seen his love of the flowers, and cultivated it by giving him book after book about them. By the time he was 15, Finn could tell you the name, scientific name, and meaning of any flower.   
He always felt soothed in their presence, and often felt as if they were his only friends. Flowers were a sanctuary in his mind. They were gentle and beautiful and full of life, so unlike the battles he encountered in the Army, or even the training itself.

In his shop, none of that mattered.

But when he had walked to his apartment with Rey and gone to bed, gone were the flowers. Out of his sanctuary, they haunted him. The men he’d seen die. He had never tried to kill anyone. But it seemed that he was the only one.

“Slip!” He heard Zero’s cry ringing in his ears.

He was back in the base with Slip. He was awkward and clumsy, which gave him his nickname, but Finn always found him to be a good man.   
Finn hadn’t had many friends, but perhaps he could be considered one.   
It was good to see him again, it felt like it had been years since he’d seen him.   
He reached out to him, and Slip was gone.   
Finn looked around at the field, his breath catching.   
He heard the gunshots and he dropped to his knees, covering his ears.   
His hands felt wet, and he brought them down to look at them.   
The blood seemed to be choking him.   
He looked up to see Slip lying on the ground in front of him. His eyes stared blankly at Finn, seeing through him.   
“Why didn’t you save me? Why did you do nothing?”

“No. No! I couldn’t! There wasn’t time!” Finn shouted.

A pain shot through his back, slicing through him as he yelled.

His eyes shot open, and suddenly a calming voice filled his ears, driving away the pain and fear.

“It’s okay, Finn, I’m here, and you’re here. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re safe.”

He felt Rey slide under the covers, her scent of coffee soothing him. Under her guidance, he slowly brought his breathing back to normal as she dabbed his forehead with a wet cloth.

She had started knocking on his door in the middle of the night whenever she heard him scream through the walls. When they had first become friends, they realized that they no only lived in the same complex, but right next to each other. So he just gave her a key that she used whenever she heard him and came to help him calm down.

“Shhh… just go back to sleep, I’m here…”

He found that when she was there, the nightmares never seemed to come back.

* * *

Finn breathed a sigh of relief when he walked into his shop. Since Rey had the early morning shift, she was always gone before Finn woke up, so he sometimes felt a little uneasy until he was back with his beloved flowers.

He set about his daily morning routine: check the register, check the flowers, check the water. Everything as it should, he sat in his chair, ready to read his book, _The Magic of Flowers_ , for which he would never be ashamed of reading. A drawing caught his eye, left by Bibi the previous day.   
She had asked him what to draw, and after a lengthy guessing game, he had understood and suggested she draw her favorite princess. She’d drawn Ariel, and written at the top “She’s like me.”   
Something about that had struck something deeply in him. Maybe as a black man, who had realized in middle school that he liked boys too, representation was just really important to him.   
After all, he had been excited when he found out there would be a black princess, and went to see it when it came out, despite the fact that he’d never seen a Disney movie in his life, which Rey quickly solved shortly after they met.

He hoped they would come back. He found that even though there was a communication barrier, he really liked Bibi. She was sweet, and he could tell that she was smart. It had kind of surprised him when he realized that she not only heard but understood what was being said around her. His original assumption was that she was deaf, but she could hear. She didn’t seem to have any mental dysfunctions that could cause her to be unable to speak, since she obviously understood the language she heard. She was able to write, and her drawing was much better than anything he could do… although, in his own defense, he wasn’t that good at drawing anyways. Still, he kind of wondered why she couldn’t speak. If they came back, perhaps he might work up the courage to ask. 


	4. Red & White Rose (Unity)

Nothing was out of the ordinary as the day went on. A few people came and went, he shared conversation with a middle aged woman about the best ways to grow a flower indoors, Rey stopped in for a while. He was closing up shop when there was a hesitant knock on the door. Finn turned to see, to his happy surprise, Poe and Bibi.

“Hey, what are you two doing here so late?” he asked, “I was just closing up the shop.”

Poe cast a glance at the street, which was emptying of people as they went home. He looked sheepishly back at Finn, nudging Bibi with his hand.

“She wanted to come back, and we meant to earlier… Plans change, I guess. But actually that’s good, because I was actually going to offer if maybe you wanted to go to dinner with us? It’s the least I can do.”

Finn blinked in surprise, casting a glance in the direction of the coffee shop.

“Usually I walk home with Rey…” He saw Poe’s face fall slightly, and continued, “But… plans can change, I guess.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to feel obligated to or anything-” Poe stammered, although he seemed to be shining.

_God help me,_ Finn thought. He couldn’t believe that a man as attractive as Poe would even think to look twice at someone like him. Even before he was scarred and crippled, he didn’t think much of himself.

“Yeah, Rey won’t mind. It’s a safe town, and she can take care of herself if she absolutely needs to. Actually, she’s told me that she is more afraid for me than herself. I’ll finish up here and tell her, and then I’d love to join you… Uh, feel free to take a seat or look around.” He explained quickly, going back to the register.

He counted the bills, sneaking glances every once in a while up at Poe.

“That’s beautiful, sweetheart,” Finn heard Poe say to Bibi.

He snuck a look at them; Bibi was showing Poe her drawing, while signing enthusiastically.

He heard Poe laugh softly, it was a wonderful sound, warm and genuine.

“Yes, I’m sure Ariel loves flowers too.”

Finn smiled to himself as he finished up, grabbing his keys off of the counter and his cane from behind it. Poe looked up at him and smiled dazzlingly. The room felt a little warmer, Finn would probably have to check the heating later. But he followed Poe and Bibi out the door, making sure to lock it behind him. Rey stepped out from next door, waving at Bibi, who waved back happily.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?” she asked as she walked over, her bag slung over her shoulder.

“I was about to come over there; Poe invited me to dinner with them.” Finn explained.

Rey’s face contorted into a look of over-happy surprise, “Oh, well, have fun then! I’ll see you later then, Finn.”

As they parted ways, Finn looked back to see the wink and thumbs up Rey shot at him, and he tried to control his reaction.

_It’s not a date, he’s just being nice, it’s not a date, just relax_. Finn could feel his hands getting sweaty, and he just tried to not panic. _Jeez, you’re acting like you’re in middle school seeing your crush_ , he scolded himself. _Hell, he’s probably married since he has a kid._

Poe walked slowly to match Finn’s wobbly pace, with Bibi prancing in front of them as if she were a Disney princess.

“So, I didn’t really want to ask in case you didn’t want to share, but I was curious on what happened,” Poe confessed, gesturing to Finn’s leg.

“Army. I got a bullet through my spine, and luckily it only took one leg.” Finn sighed.

Poe clicked his tongue, nodding his head.

“I was in Air Force about… ten years ago,” Poe contemplated.

“Bibi said- well, I mean, she made airplane noises when I told her about my leg, and I figured out she was talking about you.” Finn explained, smiling nervously.

Poe’s face softened as he looked at Bibi’s tiny dancing form. He drifted into his own thoughts for a moment, and Finn walked quietly to let him think before he continued.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why can’t she speak?” he said softly, as to not bring in the attention of the girl in question.

Poe seemed to snap back to reality, blinking before looking back at Finn.

“Oh, she was just born like that. Her vocal cords just didn’t function properly, so she grew up hearing English, speaking in sign language. She’s done really well for her age with learning two languages, and not being able to repeat one of them. She’s top of the class, all her teachers love her,” Poe proudly stated, smiling at his daughter.

She looked back at him and grinned, signing something.

 “You are smart,” Poe said warmly, ruffling his daughter’s hair.

He turned back to Finn, stopping in front of a window, and Finn could see that it was a small diner. He hardly ever walked past the flower shop, so he hadn’t even known this existed.

“This is one of our favorite places to eat, and its pretty cheap. The staff is nice too, I figured you wouldn’t mind?” Poe explained.

Finn shook his head, “No, not at all.”

Poe broke into a smile that made Finn’s heart flip, before leading them in.

“Poe Dameron, how good to see you!” a passing waitress boomed. She dashed over to him, giving him a hug. “And Bibi, how’s my favorite girl?”

“Finn, this is Maz. She used to be Bibi’s teacher, and she was a big help on teaching both me and Bibi sign language. She runs this place now,” Poe explained as Bibi signed rapidly and enthusiastically to her.

Maz was an older lady, seeming to be in between middle aged and elderly. Her dark skin, though wrinkled, seemed to have a youthful glow. When she turned her large eyes to Finn, he immediately felt vulnerable, as if she could see straight into his soul.

“You’re the man from the flower shop down the street, aren’t you?” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

Finn automatically straightened up, without really knowing why, “Yes ma’am.”

She stared deep into his eyes for what seemed like forever, before she turned back to Poe and smiled. “Take your regular table, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Poe nodded at her and led Finn to a table in the corner, Bibi squeezing in the booth next to her father.

“Yeah, Maz was a huge help for me when I was going through a pretty tough time in my life…” Poe confessed softly.

Finn hesitated before asking, “What happened?”

Poe looked up at him for a moment before smiling in the way you did when you were hiding emotions.

“Well, I was a single dad, and I didn’t know how I was going to raise her. I was 25 and all alone with her, and I didn’t have a job at that point. It was pretty tough for us for a while.”

“Do you mind me asking about her mother?” Finn asked uncertainly.

Bibi looked at the table sadly, and Poe put his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

“She… was young. She was a little younger than me, and we had already split when Bibi came into the picture. She didn’t want to be a mother at that point in time, and when Bibi was born and the doctor told us her condition, she just couldn’t take it… so she left. Haven’t seen her since. But it’s her loss anyway,” Poe explained.

Finn felt bad for asking as he looked at Bibi’s face.

“I know what that feels like,” he said to her. “I never knew either of my parents, I never even knew if they were alive.”

She looked a little better when he said that, and she raised her hands and signed something.

“She says: ‘They missed out on a great guy…’ I may have paraphrased it a little,” Poe said with a genuine smile this time.

Before Finn could respond with anything but a blushing face, Maz came back over with menus.

“So, Flower Man, what did you say your name was?”

“Uh… Finn.” He could see the scrutiny in Maz’s face for a moment before she handed him a menu.

“I’m sure Dameron would tell you to get the burger, but I’ll still hand you the menu so it seems like you have a choice.” Maz stated.

Finn blanked for a moment, stammering, “uh, yeah, sure…”

Maz took back the menu, set a blank sheet of paper and four crayons in front of Bibi, and straightened up.

“Drink?”

“Water is fine,” Finn said, clearing his throat.

“And we’ll have the usual.” Poe said with a smile and Maz nodded and went back off.

Bibi laughed throatily as she looked at Finn’s startled look.

“Maz is definitely an interesting character, but she’s a good woman.” Poe said as he tried not to smile as hard.

“Yeah, I’m sure. She’s blunt, I’ll give her that.” Finn stated, making a face.

“It only gets better, the more she likes you, the more you get that.” Poe laughed.

“Okay, okay… New topic. What do you do?” Finn rushed, wanting to get the heat off of his face.

Poe grinned as he answered: “I’m a mechanic, my garage is a few blocks down.”

Finn could picture the man working on the underside of a truck or bent under the hood of a car. He supposed he just had that kind of look.

Bibi went to drawing on the paper, bored with the conversation, paying no attention to the idle chatter and story sharing of the two men.

 

When Finn got home, he thanked god that Rey was already asleep on his couch, where she had been undeniably ready to bombard him with questions about the night. When he closed his eyes that night, he heard warm laughter instead of gunshots, and tiny feet danced him to sleep.


	5. Hyacinth (Sincerity)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to go ahead and say that there will probably end up being some Reylo, simply because I like their dynamic in this AU. If that ship isn't your cup of tea, sorry, and I don't know exactly how much will actually be in it. My plan is for mentions, but I may have chapters where it goes into their relationship.  
> I say this because I know there are people who are very passionate about Reylo or Anti-Reylo and I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I don't ship it in canon, but with slight re-characteriztion because of a different time, place, and situation, such as this, I can
> 
> So please, leave this out of ship wars, and don't leave negative comments just because you don't like the ship
> 
> Ok sorry continue and I hope you enjoy

Knowing that she could ask her questions about Finn’s date when she took her lunch break was the only reason she wasn’t waking him up at 6:30. Well, that, and the fact that he hadn’t had any nightmares. Not one time did she even hear him shift in his sleep, so whatever Poe had said or done, it must have really affected him.

Rey stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets, squeezing her arms against her body to shield against the chilly morning wind. As she swung open the door, she heard the beginning of another argument between her manager and the only other barista of the small coffee shop. It seemed like another machine had been broken due to anger management problems.

“Ben, must you do this now?” Luke was saying.

“It’s Kylo, and I don’t know what you’re even talking about!” the most emo asshole the world has ever known replied.

“This type of attitude is why-”

“Don’t mention him!”

Rey loudly cleared her throat as she walked through the door, ignoring the sudden straightening up from the both of them. She walked behind the counter and put on her apron, calmly ignoring them still.

Luke sighed and went into the kitchen, leaving Rey to deal with the pissed off kid. Rey still couldn’t believe that Ben, or “Kylo” as the sharpie over his nametag read, was two years older than her. He acted like he was in his middle school emo phase; he constantly had his headphones blasting during work, complained about everything, left messes that Rey always had to clean up, was generally unpleasant to everyone. Honestly, she often wondered if she should get paid more because she had to do her job, plus babysit Luke’s nephew. From what she could tell, but never mentioned or asked about, Ben had a falling out with his dad and dropped out of college, so he ended up working for his uncle in a coffee shop in the smallest town that existed in the universe.

“You shouldn’t fight with him like that,” Rey said, feeling like taking a risk.

She lucked out; Ben simply ignored her, glaring angrily at the wall as if all of his failings were its fault.

“What did you break?” she tried.

His glare got even more intense, like he was trying to catch it on fire with his mind.

“Seriously, cause if it’s something I need to use-”

“Fucking hell, it’s the stupid blender.” He snarled, grabbing and throwing a stack of cups at it.

Rey counted to ten in her head and took a deep breath before she stooped down and picked them back up. Ben had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

“It wouldn’t work properly, and I threw the top of it on the ground, and he freaked out for no fucking reason. It’s fine, so it’s not even like I did anything,” Ben said in his defense.

“Well, if you stopped throwing things around, maybe there would be a little less of a problem.” Rey stated bluntly as she placed the cups back with a loud TAP.

Ben seemed to conflicted on glaring at her and agreeing with her, settling on turning around and putting his arms on the counter and glaring out the window. Rey looked at the blender to see if she could figure out what was wrong.

When she flipped the switch, the motor ran, but the blade wouldn’t budge. She easily took it apart, fixed the drive stud, and put it back together. She flipped it again, and it worked as usual.

“See, not that hard. If you have problems like that, I know how to fix a lot of them.” Rey commented to Ben.

She heard a huffy sigh come from him, and she rolled her eyes.

“I can’t believe I have to deal with this shit,” Ben mumbled under his breath.

“Well, jeez, I thought you liked me at least a little after all this time,” Rey teased.

She didn’t expect a serious reply when he said, “You, I don’t mind. You’re probably the only reason I stay sane in this hellhole.”

“Oh… well, that’s ironic, because you’re the reason I lose my sanity.” Rey said, only half joking, as she joined him by the counter, watching for customers.

To her surprise, he actually smiled at that, and she realized that in the three and a half years he’d been there, she’d never seen him really smile. Honestly, she was at a loss for words.

For a moment, she saw him looking at her with a softer expression than she’d seen on him before, and she could swear he was about to say something else- when the door jingled as a customer walked in.

As she turned to greet the tired woman slouching towards the counter, she thought she saw a trace of disappointment in his face before he turned away. She supposed it didn’t really matter, but she couldn’t help but wonder what he would have said.

* * *

 “Knock, knock!” Rey knocked on the door twice in unison.

“Who’s there?” Finn replied in a playful tone.

“Rey!” she shouted as she slammed the bag of food on the table, two extra cookies in it; just in case one of two things: Poe and Bibi happening to be there, or if Finn wasn’t feeling very talkative about his date.

“Wait, am I supposed to actually continue the joke?” he said with a smile as he peeked inside.

“Only if you want the ‘Rey of sunshine’ joke,” she grinned as she sat down beside him.

“I’m good, thanks. You’re in an awfully good mood today…” he said suspiciously, looking up at her.

“Well, I was hoping for some good news. Particularly to do with the fact that you didn’t have a nightmare last night, even though they have been bad the rest of the week. I had to check to make sure you were there this morning, otherwise I would’ve thought you might have ended up in someone else’s bed…” Rey didn’t actually wink, but she might as well have for all the suggestiveness in her voice.

Finn shrank at that, blanching at Rey as she laughed.

“No, but seriously, what happened last night, where’d he take you, how’d it go?” she interrogated.

“It was no big deal, he just invited me to go to dinner with them as thanks, and we just talked about… stuff…” Finn mumbled shyly.

“Like what?”

“Like my injury and why Bibi can’t talk, and how he’s a single dad because her mom left her to him after they split up. Kinda heavy stuff, really. But I don’t know, I guess there was just some stuff I got to get off of my chest, and having people I can relate to helps. Poe was in the Army too, as a pilot, and I can understand the not knowing your parents. I’m just glad she at least has Poe,” he said, casting a glance at Rey, who had gone quiet.

“I guess she’s lucky like that…” Rey murmured. She shook her head, “So where’d you guys go?”

“A diner down the street, it’s owned by this lady called Maz Kanata. She’s… something… Has these eyes that makes you feel like she can read your thoughts, it’s almost scary.” He said spookily before confessing, “But it was a nice place, and the food was good. And I suppose Maz wasn’t that bad either, just a little unnerving.”

“Hm... we should go one night together,” Rey said idly, nodding her head. “And… what made it so you didn’t have nightmares last night?”

Finn stared at the table, as if looking for the answer himself.

“Honestly, I’m not sure… I was just happy, I guess. I dreamed of happiness,” he sighed.

Rey looked up at him, but she didn’t say anything. As she got out her sandwich and took a bite out of it, she just hoped that Poe and Bibi would become more prominent in his life. If anyone deserved a moment of happiness, it was Finn.


	6. Red  Chrysanthemum (Sharing)

Poe woke up to a clatter of plastic to tile coming from the kitchen. He opened his eyes blearily, stretching out like a cat before sitting up and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He patted down his hair, which was sticking up as it always did in the morning. Then he stood up slowly, throwing on a pair of sweatpants over the airplane boxers he was wearing; Bibi got them for him last Christmas and he would never be ashamed of them.

Bibi smiled at him when he walked into the kitchen, where she was pouring two bowls of Frosted Flakes.

“Ready for school?” he asked as he took his bowl, smiling back sleepily.

She nodded, pointing to her packed lunchbox and book bag. He didn’t even bother trying to wake up before his daughter anymore, considering she was a morning person and he most certainly wasn’t. If it wasn’t for her, he might not wake up till noon. He could just be late everyday, whatever. He was his own boss now anyways.

As they silently scooped their sugary breakfast into their mouths, Poe let his sleep-hazed mind wander back to his dream.

He didn’t remember much, but he remembered that it was beautiful. He could almost see the swirls of colors as he laid among the flowers, faces he had known stopping to say hello.

He still heard his mother’s sweet voice; something he never let himself forget.

Bibi spun around him, her orange curls flying in the wind.

Finn appeared by his side, offering him sweet-smelling daisies. He smiled, and he reached up to cup Finn’s face and-

A poke on his forearm snapped Poe out of his daydream, and he heard Bibi’s throaty laugh. He shook his head before looking at her grin, which looked worryingly mischievous, and scooting away from the table.

“Alright, double-check that you have all of your stuff, and I’m gonna get dressed,” Poe announced from the kitchen as he dumped his bowl in the sink and gave it a quick rinse before leaving it there. _I’ll deal with it later_ , he thought.

Once he had donned an old pair of jeans and a T-shirt with an airplane on it (another gift from his daughter), Bibi followed him on their walk to school.

The school was only a quarter of a mile away from their apartment, and as a single dad in a town where everything within walking distance of everything else, Poe discovered that the cost of a car wasn’t worth the saved minutes.

So it was a daily routine for him to walk Bibi to school, then walk to his work, which actually wasn’t far away from the schools; always said as a plural since the elementary, middle, and high schools were all next to each other, but with roads in between them.

As they walked, Poe pondered on the fact that if he walked the other way, he’d end up passing Finn’s shop on his way to work every day, since the whole part of town they were in worked in a square.

Bibi tugged on her father’s shirt to get his attention before signing, [Visit… Flower… Man… After… School?]

Poe couldn’t help but smile as he thought about it.

“I don’t know, maybe. If we have time, then I guess we can…” he said, his voice coming out quieter than he meant it to.

He realized that he sounded very shy in the moment, and he felt that his daughter, even though she was young, picked up on it too.

[Maybe… Every… Day… Visit.] she signed with a hopeful smile, although Poe could see his own mischievous glint in her eye.

“I don’t know about that, he might get sick of us if we go and bother him _every_ day,” he said with a grin.

Bibi looked at the ground in front of her in a thoughtful way, although it didn’t last long as they neared the school. Her train of thought was broken when her two best friends spotted her and started running towards her. She waved goodbye to her dad as she sprinted off to join the two older boys, one tall with golden hair and the other short and covered in scratches and bruises from all the trouble he managed to get himself into. Poe smiled and waved back at them as she joined them, running off to the playground for their before-school recess. As she disappeared, he walked back to the sidewalk and kept walking. Time for work.

* * *

 Snap and Jess were already in the shop when he arrived, as they usually were. Snap had already begun fiddling with an old motorcycle engine in the corner of the room, and Jess was sitting with her feet up on Snap’s empty chair, taking a sip of her coffee. Poe recognized the logo, _Tatooine Coffee_ , and almost felt like someone had punched him in the gut. His brain kept telling him that Jess got a chance to see Finn and Rey today while he didn’t. He told it to shut up as he smiled at her.

“Morning, Poe,” she said with a tired smile, still not fully awake.

“Poe, look, I found this old engine at the pawn shop, and I think I should be able to hook it up to my generator, I’ll finally be able to see if it works!” Snap interjected with his usual enthusiasm.

Jess and Poe had already agreed that they’d never be able to understand how he could just wake up and be ready to go, and they shared their usual jealous look as he rambled about how he could connect which wire to what end.

“So, how was your weekend?” Jess asked Poe as he flopped into his cheap rolly chair.

“Full of excitement, I’ll say,” Poe sighed.

Jess perked up, taking her feet off the other chair.

“Bibi scared the crap out of me by disappearing when we were on the other side of the square. I spent twenty minutes looking for her when this girl came up to me and said she found her.” Poe explained.

Jess gaped at him, “Oh my god, was she okay?”

“Yeah, it turned out she got distracted by the flower shop by that coffee place,” he nodded to Jess’ cup, “But she stayed there and befriended the florist.”

“At least she was okay… Yeah, I know the place, First Order Flowers, right?”

Poe nodded, then smiled fondly at the memory.

“The guy who owns the place is named Finn. He used to be in the Army and he got shot, whole leg paralyzed. Now he sits and tends the flowers all day, and I don’t know, something about that kinda intrigues me, you know?”

Jess bit her lip, trying to hold back a smile, sharing a glance with Snap as Poe stared into space.

“What else do you know about him?” she asked, hooked on the subject now.

“I don’t know, he’s kinda shy and awkward, and when he talked about his time in the military, he kind of seemed like a good soldier, but like he was an outsider. He does seem pretty lonely. Rey from the coffee shop is his best friend-”

“Wait, Rey? You mean like, my friend Rey?” Jess interrupted.

“Oh… OH… You know, I didn’t even think about it, I was so busy thinking about other things. But yeah, I guess so. They live next to each other and she goes over to his shop every day and brings him lunch. He said that she’s one of the only real friends he’s ever had. He never knew his parents and he grew up in an orphanage and he always spent all of his time in the gardens there,” Poe rambled.

“Okay, sheesh, how much did you stalk this guy?” Jess asked teasingly.

“Yeah yeah, sure. Me and Bibi took him to dinner last night, and we just ended up talking a lot about ourselves…” Poe defended.

“Ooohhh…. Well, I mean, it’s a little odd to take your kid out on your date, but hey, good for you,” Jess winked.

“It… it wasn’t a date…” Poe said in a small voice. “Besides, I don’t even know if he likes guys.”

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe I should invite Rey over for a little chat sometime soon…” Jess said, completely not at all having anything to do with the previous conversation whatsoever.

Snap snorted from the other side of the room, not ungluing his eyes from the engine he was working on.

“I’m just saying, maybe I can get a little bit of crucial information about your little crush,” Jess said with an impish grin.

There was never much business, so Poe realized that now, he wouldn’t hear the end of it from her. He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I'll go ahead and admit that I lacked real motivation to really work on it for a while, plus when I did, it was for planning out more of the future story. But hopefully I'll get back on track and there won't be a lag for later chapters.


	7. Daisy (Innocence)

“Artoo, we can’t do a jump off the swing contest, you could hurt yourself!”

[No we wouldn’t.] the shorter boy signed back, before nudging Bibi, [Who can jump higher?]

“Arthur, I will tell a teacher on you if I must!”

Bibi shook her head at the older boy, [Three… P… O… No.]

“You’re taking his side?!”

Artoo snickered and raced towards the swingset, Bibi running after him.

“Oh, why must you always insist on troubling me… If it wasn’t my job to translate after you, I wouldn’t have to get caught up in this!” Threepio shouted after him, shaking his prosthetic arm at him.

Artoo turned around, still jogging backwards, [Then why do you always come over to my house? That’s not part of your job.] he signed with a smug smile.

“Because someone has to keep you out of trouble, and I happen to be the only one who can!”

[Do you really?]

Threepio groaned as Bibi laughed at the two, already swinging on her claimed swing.

The two boys were in the fifth grade, while Bibi was in the second. Artoo’s real name was Arthur, but a mispronunciation turned into his nickname. Bibi came up Threepio’s, since Tracey Piovia was a little hard to sign quickly. Since she knew that Tres was three in Spanish, she simplified his name to only three signs, instead of six, and it stuck with everyone. They had been in the second grade when Artoo’s usual translator retired, and since Threepio had grown up learning it, he replaced the job, and still was his translator and friend today. Bibi had her own, but she still liked being with the two, because she didn’t need a translator with them. Plus, they were funny. Threepio was the golden child, and he never got in trouble. Artoo, on the other hand, was always finding ways to get the both of them into trouble. They were both the best and worst of pairs, and they consistently found themselves getting both in and out of trouble.

“Artoo, you are going to hurt yourself! Oh, I can’t watch!” Threepio shouted, covering his eyes as Artoo went sailing by him, Bibi following behind him.

Artoo almost landed on him feet, until Bibi rolled into him, sending him tumbling onto Threepio. The three landed in a pile, with Threepio shouting about his glasses while the other two laughed under him.

Bibi spotted his glasses beside her face and poked him until he stopped whining about his glasses.

“What? Oh, thank you Bibi, at least _someone_ other than me has some sense,” he stated, putting them back on as he dusted off his khaki pants.

[She jumped too,] Artoo reminded him.

Before Threepio could say anything else in retaliation, the teachers started calling the children back inside. Bibi waved goodbye as they split to their classes, although she could still hear Threepio complaining to Artoo as they walked to their teacher.

Bibi knew she missed out on some things that the other kids got. She never got to be held by her mother, never knew her. She would never get to sing like Ariel could, although there was a part of her that still hoped and wished for her voice to be locked away in a magic shell. She was brave, she could get it back. But even if she couldn’t, it would be okay. Because she had Poe, and Artoo and Threepio. And Rey and Finn were new friends too, and she would keep them close.

* * *

Bibi was waiting patiently for Poe on the grass outside the school, like she normally did. Usually he wasn’t this late, and she couldn’t help but feel a little worried. What if he had an accident on the way to get her? What if someone parentnapped him, and she would have to go rescue him? What if aliens had come to steal him away because he was the only one who could fix their ship?!

Just as she started panicking a little, she saw a familiar face, though it wasn’t her father.

“Hey Bibi, I’m here to pick you up today!” Rey said with a grin as she approached.

Bibi cocked her head to the side to signal her confusion.

“Your dad called me about twenty minutes ago saying he got a big project today, and that he was working late on it. He asked if I would babysit and said he’d be home by 9,” Rey explained.

Bibi nodded and smiled back, [Fun!]

“I figured I would take you out to the town, explore a little, how does that sound?”

[Ice cream?]

Rey grinned again, “Sure, I think there’s a shop down the street from here, isn’t there? And we can hit the park afterwards if you want.”

Bibi nodded enthusiastically, jumping around Rey as the 19-year-old picked up her bag.

“You got any homework?” Rey inquired, glancing at the bookbag and remembering about the other side of watching a child.

Bibi shook her head, [Finished.]

“Sweet, then the afternoon is free.” Rey confirmed as they walked down.

Bibi was in the middle of telling Rey about her jumping contest with Artoo and Threepio’s complaining when she heard music coming from a shop. She slowed to a stop, listening to the soft melody coming from the open door. Rey stopped in front of her, a questioning look on her face. Bibi pointed into the shop, wanting to go in.

“Darth’s Music Shop… Have you been in here before?” Rey asked, looking into the small shop.

Bibi shook her head.

[We… Pass… Never… Go… Inside… But… I… Heard… Something… Want… To… See.]

Rey shrugged, sizing it up. She followed Bibi in, then decided it was okay. It wasn’t too large of a shop, so Bibi could wander by herself for a few minutes and be fine.

“I’ll be over here,” Rey said to her, signaling by the door, where she started looking at the flyer board.

The melody she had originally heard seemed to be from a speaker, but it was already fading away. She could hear a quieter melody coming from another part of the shop. Bibi wandered over to where the music was coming from. In a small room off to the side, separated by and muffled by a clear door, was a boy playing a piano. Maybe not a boy, Bibi thought. As old as Rey. All she could see of him was his dark hair and black shirt, since he was faced away from her. She looked up at a sign beside the door. Practice Room.

Through the door, she could hear a similar melody to the one she heard outside.  But while that one had been fast and bright, this one… sounded sad. Bibi didn’t know how it did, but it did. It was softer and slower, and it made her think of the sad puppy commercial. The song slowed to a stop, and the boy sat there for a moment in silence, before banging his hands on the keys. The sudden loud noise startled Bibi, and she yelped, which made the boy turn around. He stared at her, seemingly frozen in shock, for a moment before he collected himself. He got out of the chair and pulled open the door.

“What do you want, kid?” he hissed, though there wasn’t any real venom behind it. He still sounded startled.

[Heard… pretty… music.] Bibi signed shyly.

The boy’s eyes widened for a moment before he relapsed back into a neutral expression.

“Deaf? Or not?” he inquired.

Bibi pointed at her throat and made a slash in front of it.

“Just don’t work, huh? You’re just one of those broken kids… Well at least you can deal with your kind of broken.”

Bibi cocked her head with her brows furrowed, and the boy shook his head slightly.

“Did you need help with something? I’m guessing Vader isn’t out there to help.” He changed the subject.

Bibi shook her head. [Heard… pretty… music,] she repeated.

The boy stood there, not really sure what to say.

[I am… B… B.] she offered.

“Kylo,” he said simply, still looking uncomfortable.

Bibi smiled at him before looking back at the piano. She walked past Kylo, to the large instrument. She pushed on one of the keys, testing it. It let out a pretty note. She pressed another, and it was higher.

[How… Do… You… Play?] she asked, turning back to Kylo.

He sized her up and down, trying to figure out how to make the kid go away. In the end, he sighed and sat back at the piano.

“Well, there are different notes on the piano, and they are in groups of letters. It starts at C, and this one,” he pressed the specified note, “is Middle C, directly in the middle, ya know. Then it goes D, E, F, G, A, B, back to C. From C to C is eight notes, and it makes something called an octave. From C to the C two octaves above is a scale. Major scale. The whole Do, Re, Mi shtick.”

Bibi listened with great interest as he continued, talking about about how major chords are the happy sounding ones, while minor, like he was playing, sounded sadder. As he talked, he didn’t notice Rey outside the door. When she cleared her throat, Kylo looked up, startled again. He turned pale when he saw her, closing the covering over the keys quickly.

“Well-”

“Don’t say anything about it.” Kylo interrupted her. “Luke doesn’t want me to be hanging out around Vader, therefore the shop is off limits. So beyond just being embarrassed that you caught me here, I just can’t have you telling him.”

Rey pursed her lips for a moment.

“ _Please_ ,” Kylo pleaded, sounding a little desperate.

There was a moment of silence between the two, in which Bibi was completely oblivious to the tension, lost in her own thoughts as she stroked the piano.

She tugged on Kylo’s sleeve, forcing him to break the staring contest he was having with Rey.

[Can… I… Come back? You… Teach… Me… Music?] she asked, staring up at him with pleading eyes.

He hesitated, looking from her to Rey.

“I’m just babysitting her; I don’t have any say whether or not she can.” Rey said with a sigh.

Kylo bit his lip in thought as Bibi continued to give him puppydog eyes.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Sure, you can come back whenever if your parents let you. I’ll teach you.”

Bibi grinned in excitement, before Rey beckoned her over.

As she was leaving, she heard Rey whisper to Kylo: “I still don’t want to get involved, but maybe if you told Luke about your music, he’d at least let you come for that.”


	8. White Chrysanthemum (Truth)

Finn couldn’t believe he had let Rey drag him into this. She still hadn’t shown, and he was sitting alone at a booth in Maz’s diner, feeling the owner’s gaze burning into him. He felt his palms get sweaty as she walked over to him, taking the seat across from him.

“What brings you back here? I thought you were scared of me,” Maz chuckled.

“My friend wanted to see it, but she hasn’t shown up yet,” Finn replied tightly, rubbing his palms on his jeans.

Maz perked up, “Ah, and who is this _friend_?”

Finn furrowed his brow, “She’s not my girlfriend or anything, if that’s what you’re getting at. Just a friend. Her name is Rey.”

Maz just made a ‘mm’ noise, and continued staring at Finn. More specifically, his eyes.

Finn couldn’t meet her eyes, feeling as if she would see into his very soul if he did.

“So tell me, Finn, what was your time in the Army like? It certainly took something away from you, although I sense that it isn’t all it took.” Maz said suddenly, leaning into the table.

Finn avoided her gaze, “Lonely.”

“Lonely,” she repeated monotonously, her gaze still boring into him.

He glanced up, finally meeting her gaze. Her eyes were a paradox; old yet youthful, wise yet curious, searching yet comforting. He could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge him for it, she’d only have the knowledge, he could tell.

“Everyone had nicknames; I was one of the only ones that didn’t. They didn’t even call me by my name, only my number. I was a good soldier, but I wasn’t one that anyone came up to. Even the three men that were my friends didn’t talk to me all that much.”

“Friends? If they didn’t speak to you, then why do you call them friends?” Maz asked.

Finn hesitated, pondering the question himself. “Well… I guess they were the closest I ever had to it. Even when I was a child, I had no one but the flowers in the garden.”

Maz pondered him for a moment, then said, “Tell me about them. The flowers, not the men.”

Finn stopped, having been preparing himself mentally to talk about the darkest time of his past.

“Um… W-well… There was a garden outside of my orphanage, and no one ever really paid much attention to it. I mean, the other kids liked looking at the flowers, but only for a moment or two before they went on to playing their games. I didn’t really click with any of them, so I ended up in the garden most of the time. It was a separate place behind the yard, with this arch covered in ivy. There was shrubbery that made a wall so that kids couldn’t run into the flowers, and so it was like a private sanctuary when you were in it.” Finn pictured it in his mind, a soft smile spreading on his face unconsciously. “I would spend hours in there, and the caretaker there, Mr. Hux, let me do my schoolwork there. He felt like it was helping me, since I was always anxious in the classroom and around the other kids. He showed me how to take care of the flowers, and how to identify them, what they symbolized. It… They were my sanctuary. During training, I always had a pressed flower with me, to remind myself that there was still good in the world.”

Maz hummed, nodding thoughtfully at Finn’s words.

“You needed them around you when you came back, didn’t you? There was loss in your life, but you are weary. You lost someone in the war, didn’t you?” she asked thoughtfully, still studying him.

Finn looked down to the table, sighing before he explained.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. Like I said, they weren’t really my friends, but… Slips was the only one who was ever nice to me sometimes. Sometimes he laughed at me like everyone else, but he’s the only one of them who really had my back sometimes. I guess cause he was a bit of a fuck-up and he was made fun of for it, so he kinda understood how it felt. Then one day, we were sent out for a mission, and it wasn’t supposed to get that bad, but… He ended up dead and I ended up back home with a bullet in my back…. I blame myself,” he said quietly after a moment’s pause, “I blame myself because I could have stopped it. I was right there, I could have pushed him out of the way, I could have shot the guy pointing a gun at him… but I couldn’t. I just froze, and the next thing I know, he’s on the ground bleeding badly, and I tried to help him and the guy shot me too. Some nights it’s all I can think about. If I had shot the goddamn man, Slips wouldn’t have died, and I wouldn’t be using this cane,” he gestured to it wildly.

He took a deep breath, realizing he was getting worked up. He felt tears stinging at his eyes as he tried to get the image of blood out of his head.

“I was a great soldier; I was always the top of my troop. I always hit every target dead on and I was a leader. But when I looked at him, all I could think was that he was real. That he wasn’t just a paper target, that this was someone’s son. He could have been someone’s brother or father or husband, and I couldn’t pull that trigger. I just couldn’t…” he finished with a sigh, shaking his head slowly with the man’s face imprinted on his brain.

“That is not a bad thing. In fact, I would say it takes more courage to not shoot somebody in a war. Because while you now have to live with the guilt of your friend, how much more guilt would you carry if you had killed someone yourself? You are afraid, I see it, but I see even better that you have a _good heart_. You have physical strength, but more importantly, that tells me that you will stand up for what is right. Perhaps you could have saved your friend another way, but do not eat yourself up about a mistake. You were afraid in that moment, but it does not mark on your character the way you think it does. What is more important is that you are a good man. And there is nothing for you to be afraid of anymore.”

Maz’s response made Finn completely speechless. He could have sat there staring at her all day, but was saved by Rey’s arrival.

“Hey, sorry I’m so late, Luke asked me to stay a while longer to clean up another one of Ben’s tantrums, and the coffee machine busted so I had to see if I could fix it- You okay?” she said all at once as she neared the table.

Maz stood up to let her sit, and Finn made a face and shook his head, letting out a breath.

“Well, I suppose I should start serving now. I’ll bring out your waters in a moment.” The elderly woman said as Rey took her place with furrowed brows.

Finn nodded minutely before looking back at her.

“How could you tell all of that?” he asked her quietly.

“My dear, when you live as long as I have, you begin to see the same eyes in different people.” Maz replied before walking away from them.

“What the hell did I miss?” Rey asked in confusion, staring at Finn.

Finn looked back at Rey after a moment. “I have a lot to explain about her.”


	9. Iris (Inspiration)

Kylo honestly couldn’t believe that he’d agreed to it. Why was he sitting there, writing lesson plans in his grandfather’s music shop, when there was so much he still had to figure out? But it wasn’t like his life was going anywhere. Maybe this would be the closest to a life he would get. Awful, really.

“Are you brooding again?” a low voice surprised him.

Kylo shook his head as his grandfather sat on the stool next to him.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Kylo sighed.

“You know, since I was so broody myself, I can tell when you are. Are you thinking about your mother again?”

“Don’t talk to me about her,” Kylo hissed with a wince, as though burned. “It’s not like you can anyways, you never talked to her.”

Anakin looked hurt at the comment, although he knew it was completely true. Kylo had the decency to feel sorry, even if he refrained from actually apologizing.

Perhaps that’s why Kylo came to the music shop. His grandfather was the only one who was as fucked up as he was, even worse actually. An old man with a smoker’s voice from the years after his wife died, whose kids were taken away and never spoken to, whose best friend and partner in crime left him to rot. Luke had come to “save” him, but he was still miserable. In fact, in Kylo’s eyes, Luke had made everything worse. Anakin Skywalker was some small-town indie singer with Obi-Wan Kenobi, but after all that shit happened to him, sure he drugged out, but he became bigger than he ever did with Kenobi. Vader was famous, ruthless, powerful in the industry. Now he was just a sad old man who owned a run-down music shop. Kylo wished that his grandfather didn’t regret his time as Darth Vader, because Vader was awesome! Anakin tried to tell Kylo not to make his mistakes, but really, what did they have in common other than family issues?

“This is new,” Anakin commented, clearly changing the subject as he looked at the notebook Kylo had his pen hovering above, reading the scrawled title. “Lesson Plans?”

Kylo huffed irately, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“This little girl came in the other day and somehow I ended up having to teach her how to play piano.”

Anakin nodded slowly, a soft expression forming on his disfigured face.

“You are a teacher now?” he asked with an almost joking tone.

Kylo gnashed his teeth together as he started slouching over the notebook, drawing it away from his grandfather.

“No, I didn’t mean to tease you,” Anakin sighed, “I only meant that… it’s good. It’s good for you. Maybe this will open up new options for you; maybe you’ll even discover that this is what you want to do. If not, it may lead you down another path anyway.”

Kylo was silent, glancing up at the coffee cup on the table. He considered it. Maybe his grandfather was right. Maybe he may be able to find something he liked in it. He did like music, and making music. Through it, he could express the things he could never put words to. It occurred to him that the little girl saw that. She, of all people, would understand what it’s like to not be able to express herself like she wants. Maybe that’s why she wanted to learn from him.

“I just want you to go down a good path. I want you to be happy in life, and for you to take care of yourself better than I did. It’s never too late, Ben.” His grandfather said softly, his low voice grumbling. He seemed wistful at the last sentence, as if he may have been talking to someone else for a moment. “I should have listened to you when I had the chance…”

Kylo didn’t question the strange comment, used to his grandfather’s wistfulness and regret. He knew that Anakin was probably thinking of Obi-Wan, or Ben, Kenobi. His parents giving him the name of Anakin’s old friend didn’t ever help when Anakin went away for a moment mentally.

Anakin looked back at Kylo with sad eyes. He bowed his head slightly and smiled tightly.

“Good path. I want you to go down the good path…” he sighed as he stood up and walked away, going back into his little office.

“Good path,” Kylo murmured under his breath as he turned back to his notebook, his hand beginning to move faster than his thoughts.

If this was the first step to getting anywhere in life, he would have to take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit shorter than usual, but I couldn't figure out how to tie the next part in, so I decided i would just go ahead and separate them and make this a bit of an informational filler chapter, introducing Anakin's character
> 
> Also I'll go ahead and apologize for the way I handle names if it gets a little confusing (sometimes he's Ben and sometimes he's Kylo) but as a general rule, he refers to himself as Kylo, which is why his narration (in 3rd person) is calling him Kylo. Bibi doesn't know his real name, and Rey refuses to call him Kylo. ok cool sorry yeah I hope you enjoyed and continue to


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